guy wet.jpgWe're used to metrosexual males by now. We're happy that men shave regularly have learnt about moisturising, and on occasion even condition their hair. Hey, it means they're softer smoother and smell better for us, and that's surely a good thing right?

But what happens when a not so metro male gets into beauty? Ah, well all of a sudden that's a different very UNSEXY story.

The problem is not the products; the problem is the patter. Having grown up with cleanse tone, and moisturize drilled in from an early age (I blame the Clinique 3 step plan) we're used to it. We don't blather on about it unless we find a particularly amazing product and we generally just get on with it. Not so with boys.

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They're not just using a face scrub, they're using the best one ever AND they want to tell you all about it, down to the amazing granules in it that slough away dead skin (I'm paraphrasing- 'bits that hurt in a good way', is the more commonly used phrase)

And even if it's one YOU GAVE them they still feel the need to lecture you on it which is a/dull and b/very unmanly. Yes the sexism train has rolled around again and though we want blokes using products, we just want them to keep them in the bathroom for us to borrow and not talk about it. None of this, 'While your out dear can you get me some more ant wrinkle eye cream' or 'ooh that ab gel really works, look I can feel my muscles clenching'. Frankly it's just not attractive. Hey, they ,moan when we drag them round the makeup counter in Selfridges, so surely this is the same in reverse.

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With the rise of mancake we've seen an even stranger shift towards men in tinted moisturizers, foundation and concealer, and that again is a total turn off. I appreciate it's hard to look good as a bloke if you not naturally blessed, but having a boyfriends face rub off on your white T? That's a big NO NO. Trust me I've been there (15 years old and thought he was cool) and I have to say never again. I can cope with a bit of fake tan tomfoolery- fake tanning with a boyf can be quite a sexy experience... (mm) but above and beyond- eyeliner, manscara etc, send shudders through me.

And as a beauty editor it seems men, even ones who are hitting on me, think I'll be fascinated by the topic of their grooming. Recently I met one man who seemed a little sweet on me (hey my hair was looking good that day) and when he discovered I worked in beauty he spent a good hour talking about how he liked to style his hair, and how I should write about different hair gel used in conjunction with cycling. True it's a useful idea and helmet hair is an issue, but that's hardly chat up material is it?. 'Hey babe, how do you style your hair, oh yea..' it was quite baffling in fact.

The thing that men have failed to realize is that their grooming habits are not fascinating and are not a new idea . While they're in ecstasies over eye cream and brow groomer we've kinda moved on from there, like years ago. To hear them rave about scrubs , masks and washes is fairly dispiriting as we know they haven't even discovered peptides or parabens yet and that's a whole other kettle of fish. Men seem to think everything is a competition but the beauty train is one that they'll always finish last in. We're not saying don't try, I'm just saying see it as a learning experience- and ask us to guide you rather than lecture us.

Related: Makeup sins: The top five I'm guilty of