Polestars Burlesque Class: Review

'C'mon girls, lift those legs like you're competing at dressage- and put some wiggle into it'. Those aren't the usual sort of words you expect to hear on a Monday evening, but seeing as I'm in a burlesque taster session learning the 'showpony' routine, these strange terms are to be expected.

I've been interested in the burlesque movement for sometime now, but have been slightly nervous about taking the plunge, as my boobs tend to need more than nipple tassels for support and I'm not sure my hips are designed to roll from side to side- surely you'd get seasick?

Before committing to the four week course I'm trialling a Polestars Burlesque taster session, and have dutifully turned up with required trainers AND four inch stilettos. 'Wear something sexy but comfy,' they said, and I'm hoping 3/4 length leggings under a A-line skirt fits the bill. There are seven other girls in the class, and they're wearing similar attire- one in full forties regalia with a sweetheart top and flouncy skirt whilst another is in joggers and T-shirt.

We smile self consciously at each other whilst the instructor adjusts the CD player. Katja Gardiner is a twenty something 5'2 ball of blond energy, who pretty much radiates sexual tension as she walks along- seeming to caress the floor with her bare feet as she gracefully strolls towards us, 'Burlesque is for everybody' she tells us, 'there's a little bit of a showgirl in everyone, and I aim to bring it out'.

A nurse by day and a showgirl by night, Katja is experienced in various showgirl arts, and has taught everything from pole dancing to can can and burlesque, and uses her knowledge of all arts to create a challenging but entertaining course for us.

We star off with a brief warm up and then she has us strapping on our heels and walking around in a circle.

We start by learning five walks, which she says we can then use as the core of our routine. The strut seems the most obvious one, but I find her version of it different to my personal 'boobs out, head up' philosophy. The idea is to keep the head ramrod straight and lift the legs up really high, whilst arching the back to thrust the boobs out. Once we've semi mastered this, we move onto the 'drag' which is delicately letting the foot behind catch up to the one in front by grazing along the floor- think gazelle rather than elephant for delicacy.

So far, this is harder than expected but smiles from the other ladies (and the glass of wine earlier at the bar) help me keep trotting around the room in a semblance of grace.

The music blares out Forties showtunes and we move on to the next couple of walks- such as the showpony, which is half trot, half knees to the chin, and still try and look alluring throughout.

We break for ten minutes and then we're back, and this time we're leaning poses. Katja winks and bends and purrs at us and we follow suit, learning the bootie wiggle, the Bettie boop oops (hand to the face coyly), the cute cat- (sexy purring and mini claws) and the sexy cat (fierce tiger yowling) and my personal favourite, the dominatrix 'kiss my shoe!' pose which has men (hopefully) grovelling at your patent beauties. we then demo these to the class- cue giggling and unexpected sexiness.

Now we have the poses and the walks it's time to put them together and we spend the next hour working on a routine that involves fans. Yes, you read that right- I get a marabou beauty to flutter and finally learn how to snap it open sexily (a long term goal of mine).

The routine involves a couple of walks, poses and some sexy grapevine-esque moves, and culminates in us dropping the fan, stroking it up our leg and coyly arching our back. We divide into two groups and then perform for each other and the evening ends with many of the girls swapping numbers and planning on attending the four week course- which includes 'uniforms and whips' says the naughty Katja with a twinkle in her eye. 'The final week of the course there are nipple tassels too...'

Eek. I'm not sure that will ever be an option with my E cup bust, but I'd definitely think about buying my own fan and some forties music and prancing around at home. The boyfriend will be pleased...

I tried out the 2 hours Polestars Burlesque taster class which costs £20. A course of four 2 hour classes cost £100 and they start at various dates round the country., For more info check out the Polestars website. You can attend alone or with friends, as as someone who tried this on my ownsome, I found the other girls very friendly and unintimidating- a lovely place to meet like-minded women as well as have fun.

Related: Kiss and Makeup interview Burlesque star Miss Polly Rae

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